My Business ruined my life....| Charlottesville Virginia Wedding Photographer Sarah Houston Photography
Ok, Ok so maayyyybbbeee the title is a little overdramatic, but it is somewhat true...
I finally had the pleasure of hearing a wonderful industry leader speak, they had spoken about something that REALLY stuck with me and when she said her personal life was even affected, well let's just say I felt like jumping up and hugging her right then and there because...
You see....I've been living on the "pretty"- the highlight reel of people's lives, thinking THAT was the true version of their life. Here I was thinking I was failing...that my life wasn't as amazing or interesting as theirs. I was giving SO MUCH of myself into my business trying to make it instagram perfect that I was destroying it. My marriage was falling apart, my child was being ignored, my house was a mess and I was stressed/over worked....I was literally losing everything just to maintain my business. In my head thought I had to "keep up appearances" because no one wants to see the photos of your ever growing laundry pile or the Christmas photo you had to photoshop your husband into because he refused to stand with you in a photo. This leader was SO right when she said that everyone only posts the pretty, the good,the highlights, because heck-who wants to see your marriage falling apart, your child crying because "you don't have time to play dolls-you have a blog post to write" or the fact that you haven't done laundry in three weeks....
It literally came down to the point of my husband asking if I'd choose my business over my marriage...How did I let it get to this point?? Well....it was "just a few more pictures to edit", "I need to get this blog post out", "I have to submit these to this editor", "I need to do a styled shoot"....the list of things go on and on (excuses really it seems). I thought the more I poured into it, the more I gave...it would pay off. I would finally be someone worth being....instead I was on the verge of a divorce, missing out on my child's-childhood & having a complete mental breakdown. My definition of "success" was based on a false reality and that is why my life was (& is) falling apart.
I need to STOP saying yes to everything, I need to stop being busy just because I'm scared of "not" being busy. I was literally using styled shoots as an excuse to escape the reality of my marriage falling apart and not being the best mom to my daughter-YES I JUST ADMITTED THAT. I was scared that if I didn't keep up with all the amazing I was seeing, I would fall behind or worse-I wouldn't succeed. I was a fool.
Yes hustling is great and helps you achieve your dreams, but there is such a thing as working TOO hard. You know this when your life starts unraveling and you can't stop it. So please don't over schedule, don't over-do, don't be busy for the sake of being busy....I work full time on top of being a mother && a wedding photographer who shoots 15 weddings a year. I'm already extremely busy with those things, but then I'd add more because- my motto was- " I can rest when I die". I was giving everything I had into my business and I wasn't giving myself grace when it backfired, I wasn't giving my family the attention they deserved. Give yourself time, give yourself grace and PLEASE give yourself a break-your family NEEDS you. Success isn't something achieved overnight and it certainly isn't met by working yourself to death. I've come to realize that No matter HOW many weddings I photograph-each one is a blessing and I should be grateful for what God has provided. So when you find yourself-Like me-in the midst of scrolling through all the lovely happy pictures & posts...remember this: This is just the Good Moments, the Bad Moments didn't make the cut. No one really rides on Unicorns and has a yacht in Saint Thomas....but on social media they can!
Don't be fooled into loosing your life....
xoxo
Sarah
