Not for the faint of heart | Charlottesville Virginia Wedding Photographer Sarah Houston Photography

I can tell you...going full time is not for the faint of heart. I think I have doubted my sanity and my decision about a million times since I turned in my notice. I literally asked my manager if I could reapply for my job....he of course said yes if I wanted to, but then he also said to me: "You WILL be successful, I know this because I see how hard you want it." Those words are so true.

I honestly never respected full time photographers enough, I thought they were crazy really...not having a secure full time job and just relying on their art to pay the bills was such a scary thought to me. I needed the security, I needed the freedom to do as I pleased...I NEEDED the comfort to sleep at night. Now that I've joined them...I respect them so much more. Its hard work, it's a lot of "Having faith" and it's a lot of doing other things you really never wanted to do but have to because you need to make your car payment this month. (So yes that means I am offering family, senior and baby portraits again!). 

Granted this isn't for everyone and congrats to you if you love your full time job! I know it can be done because for 6 years I juggled a full time job, almost full time wedding season and raising my daughter...so yes you can do it too and not be full time. For me I couldn't stand one more day doing a job I had no desire to do anymore. I am NOT a sales person when it comes to mortgages and personal loans....having the pressure of meeting astronomical goals was soooooo stressful, it was either have a heart attack or quit. I opted for quitting. 

So yes I will be honest with you, I didn't have a plan, I didn't do it "the smart way"-I took a chance, because you never know if you don't take a chance. Yes I may fall flat on my face, yes I may have to go work at our local target...there's always those 'What ifs" but there's also this drive in me that says "You can do it"-it's a small timid voice right now, because FEAR is in the drivers seat right now. Confidence is in the backseat and ready to take the wheel...but I've gotta kick fear to the curb, but how??

Fear is just self doubt in a pretty Kate Spade coat. Fear is not having faith in your ability and for me...fear is not trusting in God's plan.

Think about it...some of the greatest people in history were probably terrified of doing whatever it was they did, but they ended up making history. They took chances, they probably made some mistakes, but in the end they made it into history books. Granted I am not going to make it into history books-or am I!?!-but I can remember that they too...in all their greatness had a fear of failing too.

So yes, I MAY have done this all the wrong way & a bit reckless....but life is too short to waste. I want to enjoy what I do, I want to spend more time with my daughter and I want to focus more on loving and serving my couples, because they are the life-blood of my passion.

I could let fear consume me, I could let it destroy my dream...I could crawl back to the comfort of a 9-5 for minimum pay...OR I could fight for what I love to do, push myself past the limits I thought I'd never pass, focus on succeeding instead of dwelling on the thought of failing. For me-Failure is not an option. I will give myself grace, grant myself patience and have more faith...because when you love doing something as much as I love doing this, you make it work.

xoxo

Sarah