Silence of The Brides | Charlottesville Virginia Wedding Photographer Sarah Houston Photography
Okay so no this isn't some new horror movie title...or is it....
I like to write helpful (somewhat informative) blog posts. Usually these stem from experiences or things that I've learned over the years working in the wedding industry. Today's FYI blog post is on dealing with the bride who doesn't answer you....
This is kind of similar to yesterday's blog post, except I wanted to dig a little deeper on this. There are more times than I can count that I've diligently answered a bride's request for wedding coverage and then I never hear from her again, or the times I've taken time out of my busy schedule to meet or chat on the phone (or skype) only to hear..."We'll let you know" and they never do. It's frustrating....especially when you see another creative post their engagement shoot in a month-Ah Mystery Solved! So what do you do when the Bride forgets or just doesn't think of letting you know she's chosen someone else?
First off it hurts. I know...been there done that. I've questioned what I did wrong and what I could have done better, but those "what ifs" are just stupid time wasting questions to ask....95% of the brides I don't hear from again, already knew that I wasn't a fit for them either when they saw my pricing wasn't in their budget, my photo's weren't their style or my Southern Sweetie Persona was to much for them (I'm like sweet tea y'all...ya either like it or ya don't). When you realize that you aren't always going to be someone's brand of sweet tea, well that's the first step to not going crazy when you don't book that bride.
Second you start to doubt yourself. The "Maybe I'm not good enough" or "Maybe I shouldn't be doing this" starts to set in like an infection...and it just starts to rot you to your core. Doubt is an evil thing...I compare doubt to the oil paint I use to paint with in Art School, if you got some on your shirt and you went to wash it with water...it spread-everywhere. That's doubt if you wash it with the water word of "Maybe" it'll spread like wildfire and destroy your soul-like your favorite yellow sweater that H&M discontinued last year. Instead of saying "maybe" confidently say to yourself "I AM {Good, amazing,talented}" -That bride just wasn't meant for me!
Who knew that silence could be so deadly to a creative....a lot of brides don't understand that, which totally isn't their fault at all! They don't live in the creative bubble we do-it's tough, we are sensitive, we are artists who strive for gratification. Yes in a make believe wonderful world the bride who wasn't interested or found someone at a lower cost-would politely let you know of this revelation...that way your not wondering "What did I do" or "Maybe they got amnesia and forgot who I was" (admit it y'all have totally thought this then proceeded to check your spam inbox like 5 times and then emailed yourself test emails just to make sure it worked). Yes in a perfect world that would be amazing, it would help keep you from jumping head first into self doubt or throwing the pity party complete with a pity hat. Sadly it's a rare thing...brides are busy planning and don't really have time to think "Gosh I need to email those vendors I didn't chose...they are probably eating a box of chocolates crying watching TLC re-runs" No. Sorry to break it to you, but you are most likely never going to have closure, view it like a bad boyfriend.
If you start to doubt yourself over the missing email that never came....don't Seriously, I mean it. Take it from someone who for the past five years has doubted herself, her work, her choice to fill the world with pretty images of love. It's not worth it.
LOVE who you are, what you do and don't let something so small break you....you are worth it and the bride who see's that, will be worth the wait.
xoxo
Sarah
P.S- Need some more mantra help to cheer your soul?
You is Kind
You is Smart
You is Funny
YOU is talented
